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Thursday, April 20, 2006

ah liberia

The Analyst (Monrovia)
NEWS
April 20, 2006
Posted to the web April 20, 2006

The saying "when the moon walks, day light is bound to catch it" has come to pass in
the case of a man described as one of New Kru Town's most notorious rogues.

Following years of unhindered pilfering, Archieboy met his fatal end Tuesday night at the Duala-Caldwell Road junction on the Bushrod Island.

He was said to have been mobbed to death after being caught stealing a mobile phone from another man who was on his way home from job.

There are several accounts as to how he was apprehended before being mobbed to death.

One report says he met his fate when a cutlass he had used in his missions was smartly taken away by the man (not identified) and whose mobile phone he had snatched. The report has it that this man used the cutlass to hack him.
Apparently God being on his side, according to some residents who claimed they were on the scene, after Archieboy took the phone, he attempted to run across the road but the cell phone owner smartly hit one of his legs to bring him down, instantly.
Without wasting time, the man allegedly got hold of the cutlass and began to hack him. Other residents seeing the victory of the cell phone owner also joined him and beat the deceased to death.

Another side of the story has it that he was hit by a moving vehicle as he sped across the road after snatching the mobile phone.

There was no one, including police officers to provide security details as to the cause of his death.

These accounts of how Archieboy might have met his death are therefore the only ones in the absence of factual account.

But as one resident who was on the scene said, "The biblical saying of 99 days for rogue, one day for master" has come to reality with the demise of the notorious rogue, then a dreadful criminal.

His lifeless body was left exposed at the junction as everyone who heard the news sped to the scene to take a glimpse at his corpse.

Mothers, fathers, the young as well as students on their way to school, diverted from their duties to proceed to the scene to see the lifeless body of the man who caused many to lose their hard-earned properties.

Part of his body was covered with old rice bags, blood oozed from his mouth and nose and as he lay in a pool of water, apparently created by rain.

One viewer described him as the worst criminal who ever existed in the borough since its establishment.

The late Archieboy was reportedly a son of a mini wealthy man in the Duala community, who has a very large compound.

According to those who knew him, his parents advised him many times against stealing others' properties but refused to change.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

vegas

What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas. That's why his corn hole is so stanky.

-gut

Monday, April 17, 2006

queers

I was at a bar (we'll call it "Asylum") and overheard a great song,
(downloading as we speak) by the Queers - who apparently have
the best song titles ever - and tailor-made for Shaolin, look:

Asylum: 'This Place Sucks'
Fox: 'Fagtown'
Buttdart: 'I Wanna be a Homosexual'
Hot Carl (Gatt): 'Next Stop Rehab'
Floppy: 'Stupid Fuckin Vegan'
Pfeuffer: 'Don't Puke'
and the follow-up, 'I Didn't Puke'
and, 'You Make Me Wanna Puke'
Au: 'Yeah, Well, Whatever'
Sunshine: 'Drop the Attitude Fucker'
Sam: 'I'm Not a Mongo Anymore'
Dole: 'Teenage Gluesniffer'
Bonnie: 'Boobarella'
' I Just called to say Fuck You'
'See You Later Fuckface'
and 'My Cunts a Cunt'
Shaolin: 'Love Songs for the Retarded'
Vaugeass: 'Sayonara Suckers'

tell me you don't want to hear each and every one of those?

-vegas

Friday, April 14, 2006

shaolin's not cool, man

I guess it's "not COOL" to play ultimate this weekend. Sorry I didn't
get the "MEM-MO." I guess all the "COOL" kids will be "doing REEFER" and
"slamming BREWSKIS" with Bob Dole and playing stinky pinky with little
Sally Rotten Crotch and "SHOPLIFTING" from near-sighted Asian grocers
with Rick Santorum. WHOO! LET'S PARTY! Pass me a brewski! Give me some
of that sweet Reefer man! WOOHOO!! Cause that's what YOU guys are into.
That's what's "COOL." That's what's "AWESOME." Not doing homework or
playing frisbee. That's not cool, that's not AWESOME. That's like LAME,
man. Frisbee's like lame, man. Scarshots are like stupid man. Gattorn's
got testes like Raisinets, man. Reefer and shoplifting. That's where
it's at. Losers.

-SamD

Friday, April 07, 2006

what does haiti have to do with us

Getting back to you on the subject of what does Haiti have to do with us ---

In 1803, after years of slave and indigenous uprisings in Haiti against the fucking French (Yeah, freedom jew, I said it), the French finally was like "auwh, deez black peepel are zway too uppity for us civilized type. Let us forge our own destiny and forget deez surrounding landz. auwh"

So the French began their way back west, and that included areas North of Haiti including their failed attempt at taking on N'awlens and surrounding areas.

So the French were all ike "auwh hey Washingtoon types, le dumb asses, the uppity's be your destiny. Ill sell you Louisiana and everything to the west of it for $15 million Bucks. Then Napolean leaned to the side, pretended to cough, and said in Homer Simpson like fashion under his breath "suckerzz".

So like the Americans, that being us, were like.............UHHHHHHHHHHH -- OK! So, the biggest land purchase in the history of the world, being the Louisiana Purchase, took place between the USA and the French for the cost of a couple 7 bedroom houses in Georgetown. We got California. They got le boot (luckily they weren't German or they would have got Das Boot).

And it started because of the wonderful country in present day Haiti.

thank you gut.